


That Bond Between Wardens and Griffons

by beng



Series: The Dawn Will Come [4]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Character Study, Duty, F/M, Rejection, Responsibility, Skyhold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-31
Updated: 2014-12-31
Packaged: 2018-03-04 13:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3070154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beng/pseuds/beng
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, a Grey Warden's 'no' can mean as much as a 'yes', if a bond of trust and respect has been established first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Bond Between Wardens and Griffons

The bright, sunny day mocks Rinata as she walks down the ramparts, her step measured and collected. For a moment she falters, wondering if she should go check in with Cullen, but then she dismisses the thought. She turns and walks up to the main hall instead, all the way to the stained glass windows. She sits down cross-legged behind the dusty throne that would hide her from view and stares at the bold explosion of light and colour in front of her.

She’s been rejected like a petulant child.

After all the nightmarish things she saw in Redcliffe, after all she did in Haven, basically sacrificing her life with the understanding she would not survive the avalanche, and then the long trek to Skyhold, and becoming the Inquisitor... And then Blackwall acts like she’s some hotblooded wench that needs to be reminded of her duties, lest she forsakes the Inquisition, her people and her purpose.

Rinata draws a shaky breath.

_“I’m fond of you, it’s true, but we can’t let this go any further. This — whatever you want this to be — is impossible.”_

Fond... Rinata chuckles mirthlessly as she shakes her head. And she was worried he’d reject her for not believing in the Maker...

She never managed to have that conversation with him back in Haven. Reports from the Fallow Mire had come in that morning, and they had set out immediately. Wading through a stinky, dark bog full of corpses had given her no opportunity to really speak with the Warden.

Well, she admitted it now. Turns out, it doesn’t matter that much for him as he thinks it does for the people. Rinata smirks sadly. Always the people’s champion...

_“You’re the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste. Even now there are people flocking to your banner, ready to serve — to die. We must remain focused on the task at hand.”_

So what’s the problem? What does he think she wants from him? Run away, start a family, dedicate themselves to druffalo farming? Shag him senseless and be done with it? Just because he’s easy on the eyes doesn’t mean... Blighted fool of a man.

He means so much more to her than that. If she had doubts before, she _knows_ it now — after the huge relief of finding him sane in the dungeons of Redcliffe, and then after seeing him walk off to his death. Stepping through the time portal, knowing he _had_ died, to give her the chance to set things right.

Rinata leans over, hiding her face in her palms.

She’s not crying, but it feels like there’s a hole punched right through her chest. She feels weak. Hurt, rejected, _doubted_ by the one man whose faith in her had mattered the most.

_“I’m not what they say I am. I never asked them to believe.”_

_“But they do, and it’s too late to go back.”_

Does he honestly think she can do all this alone? Save the world from this Elder One, fight the demons and the rifts, and bandits, and assassins? Repair Skyhold and lead the Inquisition? How? How can she be expected to do all this by herself?

Straightening up, Rinata runs a tired hand through her hair. She rests her head against the back of the throne and tries to think of something.

_“We’re both bound by duty.”_

She’s not alone, she reminds herself. She is surrounded by wonderful, resourceful people, and even if Blackwall doesn’t want anything _more_ to do with her, he’s not wanting anything _less_ either. He’s still with the Inquisition. It is his duty, as much as it is hers.

The least she can do is respect his decision. For now. Maybe things calm down, maybe Corypheus conveniently lies down and dies all by himself. Rinata smirks mirthlessly. Right, and nugs fly.

Maybe, with time, she can somehow prove to him that... No. She’s never tried to prove anything to anyone. She’ll just do what she has to do, as well as she can, and let him believe what he will. Her feelings will not affect her decisions.

And should he die following his sense of honour and duty... House Cadash knows how to cope with loss, even if the pain never fades completely.

She’ll just continue what she started. Take over the operation, and let herself be brave and selfless. Remind herself again and again that she’s not with the Carta anymore. That she can be a better person. There’s Cassandra, with her strong principles and honest faith, there’s Dorian with his flaming passion and ideals, even Josephine with her tireless work and selfless compromises.

And she’s still going to take Blackwall with her on her travels, because he’s the best shieldman she has, he and Cassandra.

Rinata closes her eyes and draws a deep breath.

_“Whoever you were is gone. Our lives aren’t ours to live.”_

Perhaps it’s for the best. Perhaps she _is_ being a petulant child, upset about something she can’t get right here and now. It’s good that he has shown her that.

And maybe it’s not even about her. Maybe it’s him too, afraid of this new thing that he doesn’t even deny that they share.

Right or wrong, he made his opinion clear, and she has to respect that. She has to patch up that hole in her chest and see what she can do to help others. Rise. Spread her wings. Grow talons as sharp as a griffon’s and tear to pieces all that would threaten her people. Bring peace and justice, and then set up a new world order to maintain that peace.

If they are lucky, one day Inquisition will be able to lay down its sword again.

Rinata smiles sadly as she rolls her shoulders and stretches.

Of course, if, in the meantime, she could shag Blackwall senseless, she wouldn’t mind the least.

 

*

_Dear Mum,_

_I’m the Inquisitor now. Got myself a stronghold with a leaky roof and a missing access road in the Frostbacks. Lots of work to do._

_Forget everything I said about Operation Shayle. As for your questions on the subject, I have no idea what you’re talking about. It was just a suggestion._

_Say hi to grandma and the little brats._

_Love, Rin._

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Beta-read by iscatterthemintimeandspace, because she's so great! ^^


End file.
